Your organize is very well. You put your ideas in orders and your essay succeeds between paragraph and sentences :) Your hook is not very interesting me but anyway your essay will get a not bad result ;)
I love it how you have a smart choice on choosing which word describe the situation best and I really like how you choose command economy instead of market economy-the famous one. You were really proving your point in command economy to. Freedom is what we need and no one can take away our freedom. Your essay is really detail and I love it. Good work ;)
Great essay (: U used a fact as the topic sentence. Good hook <3 & I like your evidences. U can make it shorter, though, but this is really good. ~anna
Thank for the comments :D, when I get my score back, I also realized that I have stupid grammar mistakes too :p. such a waste right, but it is ok, i will improve becuz i am learning English, we all are and we all gonna study from our mistakes to be a more successful person :)
Your organize is very well. You put your ideas in orders and your essay succeeds between paragraph and sentences :) Your hook is not very interesting me but anyway your essay will get a not bad result ;)
ReplyDeleteI love it how you have a smart choice on choosing which word describe the situation best and I really like how you choose command economy instead of market economy-the famous one. You were really proving your point in command economy to. Freedom is what we need and no one can take away our freedom. Your essay is really detail and I love it. Good work ;)
ReplyDeleteGreat essay (:
ReplyDeleteU used a fact as the topic sentence. Good hook <3 & I like your evidences. U can make it shorter, though, but this is really good.
~anna
Thank for the comments :D, when I get my score back, I also realized that I have stupid grammar mistakes too :p. such a waste right, but it is ok, i will improve becuz i am learning English, we all are and we all gonna study from our mistakes to be a more successful person :)
ReplyDelete